This week, I had the privilege of chatting with Blair Imani; historian, outspoken advocate and activist, and a dynamic public speaker. She's also my favorite Pokémon and Star Trek enthusiast, and all-around queen of pop culture analogies. She's the author of two historical books, she centers women and girls’ global, black communities, and the LBGTQ community.
Blair provides publicly accessible, weekly lessons on Instagram, and then she takes that education to a whole new level on Patreon. I'm so grateful for this chat. And I'm excited to get into this episode because Blair is, as she would say, an active participant in “making the world less terrible.” I'm going to say she's more actively making the world more accessible, inclusive, educated, kind, and all-around a nicer place to exist and connect.
From getting arrested at protests to understanding that the way we show up may look different than the way somebody else does, Blair and I chat about the different ways that activism can look, as well as having the grace to accept and encourage folks wherever they are on their journey. Tune in for a good one, friends.
Key Talking Points of the Episode:
Key Milestones of the Episode:
[04:00] Meet Blair Imani
[08:00] Blair’s background
[14:20] Being an active participant in making the world less terrible
[15:00] Harm reduction
[18:00] What activism is NOT, via Lizzie McGuire
[20:30] There’s always more to learn
[24:00] Blair’s focus; education
[27:00] Being authentic and kind
[31:00] Human interaction is a kaleidoscope of opportunity
[34:30] The loneliness of being authentically you
[37:30] Getting comfortable being uncomfortable, when it comes to activism
[45:00] Two traps that folks who care can fall into
[48:00] How activism can look different for different people
[49:40] Someone Blair looks up to
[54:00] The Refrigerator of Justice
[1:00:00] Something that Blair would love to try
[1:04:00] An organization that Blair supports
Standout Quotes from the Episode:
“But the fact is, you know, I was very much raised with this idea that if you do have more access than someone else, then it's your duty to use that in service of good.”
“I think that it's just a better way of living. When you care about the people around you."
“But we all bloom at our own pace. And if we think about ourselves as flowers, with many pedals who bloomed to the extent that we were nourished.”
"Equity looks like people getting what they need to be successful and to thrive.”
“And it's also, you know, a lesson about how we can all make the world less terrible. And the reason why I say less terrible is because it's pretty terrible. And if you say, ‘Make the world a better place,’ that can be so abstract for people because there has never been a perfect world and we have to create that together.”
Mentioned in this Episode
Muslims for Progressive Values
Connect with Blair
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Created, Produced, Hosted & Edited by: Randi Johns
Music by: Tefty & Meems
[00:00:00] Randi: Hi friends who care a whole lot. It's Randi Johns, your host for “You Care Too Much.” I hope your week is going well so far. So, we all know what this week is. And let's take a moment to do two things before we get started. One: let's acknowledge that those of us that grew up in America were not exactly taught accurate truths about the significance of what occurred during this time many, many years ago. It wasn't pleasant pilgrims. It wasn't so friendly as we were taught as children. And frankly, it was pretty violent. And pretty much all of us live on stolen land. Two: Let's educate ourselves and reflect on more accurate truths. I'm pretty positive this week's guest will have you covered on some of that on various platforms this week.
[00:01:00] And on another note, let's have as much gratitude every day of the year, yeah? I'm grateful to have you in this community, and I'm glad that you're here for this week's episode of the show. You are in for a real treat.
I had the privilege of chatting with Blair Imani; historian, outspoken advocate and activist, and a dynamic public speaker. She's also my favorite Pokémon and Star Trek enthusiast, and all-around queen of pop culture analogies. She's the author of two historical books, she centers women and girls’ global, black communities, and the LBGTQ community.
Blair provides publicly accessible, weekly lessons on Instagram, including Learn O'clock and Smarter in Seconds, which I am a huge fan of. And then she takes that education to a whole new level on
[00:02:00] Patreon. Blair has appeared on Fox news and MSNBC, presented at colleges and universities, spoken at conferences around the world, and delivered powerful talks for organizations and brands, including TEDx and GLAAD. I'm so grateful for this chat. And I'm excited to get into this episode because Blair is, as she would say, an active participant in “making the world less terrible.” I'm going to say she's more actively making the world more accessible, inclusive, educated, kind, and all-around a nicer place to exist and connect.
From getting arrested at protests to understanding that the way we show up may look different than the way somebody else does, Blair and I chat about the different ways that activism can look, as well as having the grace to accept and encourage folks wherever they are on their journey. So, right before we get into this thing,
[00:03:00] if you enjoy these conversations and would be so kind as to helping get them into more good humans’ ears, please leave a five-star and a written review on iTunes.
And if you haven't already, go ahead and hit that subscribe button. Okay folks, she is smart, ambitious, hilarious, and gives a lot of fucks. Delight is what I feel as I introduce you to the one and only Blair Imani.
[Transition Music] You, you, you, you care to much. You, you, you, you care too much. You, you, you, you care too much. People who give a fuck. People who give a fuck, yeah. You care too much.
Randi: Hello. Welcome to “You Care Too Much,” Blair Imani.
Blair: Thank you so much for having me, Randi. I'm very excited about this.
Randi: Oh my gosh. Ditto. I am
[00:04:00] so excited to have you here. Folks, this is Blair. Blair, this is folks. I think we'll just get right into it. So, I found out about Blair from all of her Instagram Learn O'clocks, #SmarterInSeconds, like all these little digestible bits that I was just like, this is, this is awesome.
Blair: Thank you.
Randi: Nobody else is doing this. Like this. So, Blair you're you're, you're a historian. You're an advocate. You're an activist. You're an author. You also wear a lot of hats. You are a complex, awesome human being doing all of this. Yeah.
Blair: Thank you.
Randi: Why, really? That's where we're going to start. We're going to start deep. So, why do you care so much? Why do you, why do you give a fuck? You know, you could just be living your merry, little life and making sure
[00:05:00] that you're taken care of, but you are putting out all this information and knowledge for all kinds of folks, for the world really.
Blair: I think it's, it's really interesting because oftentimes marginalized folks, especially educators and advocates, will say like this isn't so much a decision that we make. It's like kind of what we need to do to survive and to thrive, but really thinking about myself and like the, the class privilege that I have, you know, like my parents, like I live in my parents' back house.
My parents are homeowners. And even though we were affected by red lining as Black people, there's still a lot of moments of resource access and privilege that play into who I am and who I've become. And so, I think for me, it could be a choice. But the fact is, you know, I was very much raised with this idea that if you do have more access than someone else, then it's your duty to use that in service of good.
And I think it also helped that I grew up with a lot of people, you know, like a lot of people around
[00:06:00] me who were Civil Rights activists. You know, Dr. Terrence Roberts, who was one of the Little Rock Nine that integrated schools in Little Rock, Arkansas. He was one of our close neighbors and so, I interviewed him when I was like 12 years old.
And I, I really think that, you know, as much as I guess it could be said that I could be doing something else, I just don't see it. You know, I think my life trajectory would have been a lot different if I hadn't gone to school away from California. I went to school in Louisiana. Louisiana State University. And that really made it abundantly clear to me that the world is not sunshine and rainbows, the way that I was raised in this, you know, Southern California bubble. But there's a lot of injustice out there and it's not a thing of the past. It's right here and it's right in our faces.
And I'm like, okay, well I'll go to a party and then I'll also organize this protest, or I'll also do this. Or like, everybody who's going to be at that party is also going to be at the protest. Why don't we just
[00:07:00] bring a boombox, which is not what they're called anymore, and go to the, and go to the protest and have a party there?
And so, for me, it's so integrated into, into my work. I think that I give a fuck because what kind of life is it that you don't? You know, like, it'd be great to like, you know, like, cause I see so many folks now who are like, “Screw the pandemic. I don't care about spreading germs. I'm just going to go to whatever, you know, like a tropical vacation.” But I can't even bring myself to that place to have disregard in that manner.
I think that it's just a better way of living. When you care about the people around you.
Randi: Hm, mhmm. Ooh. I feel that. I feel that big time. Yeah. So, so it sounds like, I mean, you were doing interviews at 12 years old. Like, it sounds like this is something that's been ingrained in you since childhood, right? Or has it developed more over time, do you feel like? Or, or has it just always been there, full-blown, this is
[00:08:00] Blair, this is who I am?
Blair: I think that would be so great to say that like, yeah, I like was eight years old and I knew everything to know, and that was it, but that's just not how people function. And I think it's so important to like stress because it-
You know, if we believe that like, okay, people who we look up to were just born and baked that way, and that was it, then it feels it can be very disempowering to figure out how your own path works. You know, I have folks all the time who were like, “Oh, Blair, like you're 26. I'm this old. How are you doing everything that you do?”
But we all bloom at our own pace. And if we think about ourselves as flowers, with many pedals who bloomed to the extent that we were nourished, whether that's through the soil that we had versus other people growing up between the lines of concrete, you know, like we all, uh, are not just products of our own circumstances, but are sometimes hindered and advanced by those circumstances.
And so, when I was twelve, when I did that interview, it was for a school project and I wanted to interview a great American because that was the, the project assignment. And of course, I was
[00:09:00] always very ready to bring information about Black History to my classmates, because I was the only Black girl in my classes, and I really felt like I was the ambassador for Black America. And so, it all kind of came together very happenstance. And it serves this larger purpose of the work that I do now. You know, it's, it's no wonder why I was so interested in public speaking when I was a kid. It's like, why? Because I loved attention.
You know, I love to be the center of attention and stuff. And now I use public speaking for good and I still love attention. Um, but I think that for me, it started out with my younger sister. She's autistic and she like, just was herself, you know, as you do. But this idea from neuro-typical people that there was something wrong with Chelsea, instead of Chelsea just being who she is and the world needing to make room for folks who are outside of the norm. And so, I remember being a young kid and maybe being like, what, seven years old and my sister, five years old and kindergarten.
[00:10:00] And the kindergarten teacher would be exasperated with Chelsea because the kindergarten teacher was clearly not trained to handle all types of kids. And I would get pulled out of class at the school that we went to and be told to like, you know, console my sister and be asked, “What's wrong with your sister?” and all these horribly terrible things that you should never do, in child psychology or to be a good person. And even at that time, like, I had learned, like, you know, I, I was very advanced in my speech.
What is it, speech processing? I mean, look at, that's kind of hilarious that I like stumbled on speech processing. And so, I started speaking when I was like, by the time I was one, I was speaking in like full sentences and I was like very advanced, versus my younger sister who part of her neurodiversity was a speech delay.
So, she wasn't speaking until she was around four years old. And so, because of this complimentary, uh, you know, traits like Chelsea was a lot more hand-eye coordinated. She still is. A lot more physically active versus me. I had asthma, very, you know, sickly kid. And so, it just became complimentary to where, you know, if Chelsea needed an advocate,
[00:11:00] I was there. And I always kind of looked at myself as this caretaker until we get to middle school, and Chelsea is like standing up for me in a physical sense. Like, Chelsea is helping me, you know, with my self-esteem, and it really became this symbiotic relationship, like any sisterhood should be. Where it wasn't so much that, oh, I'm helping you because you can't help yourself.
It was, we're helping each other in the ways that we know how. And sometimes that looks like Chelsea popping somebody in the face with a fist. Other times it looked like me trying to speak to a teacher about, um, you know, Chelsea having a hard time with sensory integration, whether that was, you know, having to sit down for a long period of time, et cetera. But it was just kind of this team.
And it taught me very early on that, you know, equality doesn't look like everybody getting the same thing. Equality, or equity, looks like people getting what they need to be successful and to thrive. And it was best articulated, I think, when I was like in third grade. There was a kid who spoke only Mandarin. He was from Taiwan. The school I went to was very much like International in that sense.
[00:12:00] And this is the better school and not with the problematic teachers, trying to have seven-year-olds address their shortcomings as teachers. But the kid, he, um, needed the English to Mandarin dictionary. It was an electronic dictionary.
And this was before like technology was really in the classroom. It was like early 2000s. And a lot of the other kids were super jealous of him. They were like, “How come he has this? We don't have this.”
And I was like, “Y’all, like, he needs this because he has to go to a school where everybody speaks a language he doesn't speak.”
But the other kids, I think, which kind of translates to other folks in the world, as adults, not understanding that just because somebody needs something different than what you need to play on the same, you know, playing field as you doesn't mean that you're being oppressed. And so, it was very much part of my identity formation and that just translated as I went on in life.
And I also started to understand, thanks to my parents and like the encouragement of teachers and people around me, that I could change things. You didn't have to just accept what the teacher was giving you, which
[00:13:00] made me a thorn in every teacher side, that wasn't prepared for that type of energy. But if like a teacher was like, “Hey, we're going to do this assignment,” and we have to pick a role model to embody and I don't see anybody I identify with, I'm going to say, “Okay, well, this list has shortcomings that I'm not willing to settle for. Let's change that.” Of course, I wasn't using that language, but today I'm so much more calm and relaxed about my approach to stuff.
Like in the past I was so like just, you know, it makes sense to the age range I was in; angry, like, which is valid. Anger is valid, but I was just like so unproductively angry. It was a teen angst anger that, you know, now it's kind of funny. Like people think that I'm like so radical now, and it's funny ‘cause they also view radical is a bad thing. But it, you know, like today I'm so much more relaxed in my approach to where I was just so anti-everything. And I think now what I try to do is not looking at what I'm against but look at what I'm for.
Randi: Hmm. Ooh. I love that. I love that. More of the like
[00:14:00] connective side of that. Right? Because with connection, we can improve things together versus trying to be the only person changing the world, right? I mean.
Blair: Absolutely.
Randi: Yeah.
Blair: And it's a lot less lonely.
Randi: Oh my gosh, for sure. Oh my gosh. So, what I love about that and what I love about… so there's this, this little blurb, if I can call, I don't know if that's the right thing to call it, but you've said, “Be an active participant in making the world less terrible.” And the first time I saw that, I was like, that is it. Like that is it, right there. And-
Blair: Thank you.
Randi: And I feel like as we get older, as we mature, we have the, it's still a choice though, right? Like we have this choice to do that. Or to be complacent and just take care of ourselves, right? But the more we are those active
[00:15:00] participants, were not only, you know, contributing to our own wellbeing, but like a better world for everybody to be a little more equal. And that, and I love that you talked about that equality doesn't mean you have all the same things, and everybody looks the same and everything is just same, same, same. That can look different in so many different ways, right?
Blair: Absolutely. Cause it's, you know, like there's an episode of The Fairly Odd Parents, I think where like Timmy Turner wishes that everybody would be the same, and everybody just turns into a gray blob. And I was like, look at that perfect metaphor for conformity. And it's funny because even today when I educate folks, and I think it makes me a very unique educator, I will reference Pokémon. I will reference pop culture because it's just a lot, you know, like there's so much range in what we can discuss
And it's also, you know, a lesson about how we can all make the world less terrible. And the reason why I say less terrible is because it's pretty terrible. And if you say, “make the world a better place,” that can be so abstract for people because there has never been a perfect world and we have to create that together. So, what I'm
[00:16:00] talking about is harm reduction in that, you know, snappy quick quote, without specifically naming the types of theory, et cetera. Just to say, “Hey, you. Be active in making it less terrible.” That means so many different things, whether it's smiling at somebody who looks like they're having a hard time, saying, “Hey, are you doing okay?
Can I help you out?” Helping somebody open up the door by, by being six feet away from them and compliant with COVID protocols. It is making sure you don't throw trash out the window of your car. Like, it's so, you know, tangible in that manner and we can all do it. We can all do it. And I want to move away from this concept that, you know, caring looks one way.
That action looks one way, because even in circumstances where you have very little privilege, very little access and power and resources, you can make the world less terrible. In a variety of ways. And I think when we talk about things like eco-consciousness, particularly around conversations of making the world
[00:17:00] improved that come from privileged spaces; it can feel very alienating because I can't attend a protest if I have to work a nine-to-five during a pandemic, and I don't have paid leave and I have to wait in line forever to be able to vote. Being told, “Just go vote,” doesn't really resonate. But if somebody who has more privilege, maybe the person who has made that schedule horrible is able to make the road less terrible in their way and give their workers paid time off to go vote-
Isn't that a lot more helpful than it being the people who are the most affected by these systems to be the ones to fix them? And so, I think that demystifying what that means is the key, because, you know, like it's understood and taught to be difficult on purpose. If everyone feels like, oh man, I won't, I don't even want to try cause it's not going to be good enough, then nobody's going to change anything.
But if it's instead frames like, “Give it a go. No, no wrong turns here. You know, where you all have nothing but time, let's figure it out.” Then it becomes a lot less heavy.
[00:18:00] Randi: Yes. Oh, and that's exactly it. That's what you’re, that's what you're doing on a platform, which is so awesome. And…
Blair: Thank you.
Randi: I think. Yeah, you just, you make it- not that it's already, can't be accessible if people know where to look, but you're, you're doing that little, that little extra. Right? where you are putting on, you know, a different hat or you are making it approachable, you know, which is a lot of emotional labor for you too. But, but again, because you care and because it does, you know, make the world a little less terrible, it makes sense that you're okay with that. You know, like,
Blair: And the other thing too, is that like I've made a career out of caring. You know, I, I think, you know, I'm going to reference to pop culture again; there's an episode of Lizzie McGuire where she decides to be an activist and she basically sells everything except her mattress, and her mom comes to her room and is
[00:19:00] like, “Lizzie, what the heck?” And Lizzie, like, she has one outfit left. She's going to like sleep on the floor cause she's sending her mattress to somebody, like, overseas. And that is what we are taught that should be activism. That it should be uncomfortable, that it should be difficult, that you should constantly be in a state of despair and chaos.
And that's a very capitalistic idea of what it means to care and make a difference; it's that you have to be a martyr and that you cannot, by any means, live in a better world you're trying to make. Horrible stuff, you know? And so, what I try to impress upon people is that we want to live in the world we're trying to build together. I will not be a martyr. And I will not have martyrdom forced upon me. I can no longer attend protests because it's extremely traumatic for me after I was arrested in Baton Rouge in 2016. So, I don't, and there are still a lot of people who feel like that's the only way to make a difference.
And that's the only way to demonstrate caring. Well, I've done that. And I can no longer do it because of that. And because of, you know, the lack of infrastructure around competent mental health care that, you know, can account for those things. It's been
[00:20:00] very difficult to find a therapist that specializes in police related trauma, which is ridiculous because that's a huge thing that a lot of people are dealing with, not only within the Black community either.
Uh, and so. There's just so much work to be done and it can bog you down, but it's also extremely exciting because it means that there are so many innovations, so many people to support, so many ways to move forward, and to do so, um, with not by yourself, either.
Randi: I love that. So, everything you just said about it being that, really that Lizzie McGuire episode was, yeah, I totally, I remember that episode and I remember growing up thinking like that and-
Blair: I mean, I did too. I was like, wow, I can't have anything nice. And I think part of it is this idea that like, you know, there's conscious consumerism, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. At the end of the day, we're all doing harm to the world. Even if you try to like to move to the middle of nowhere, what you think is the middle of nowhere, which has probably stolen
[00:21:00] land from indigenous people. Even if you try to have like an eco-conscious blog where you talk about never using plastics, or whatever, you're still tweeting or posting from something that has plastic parts in it, something that you probably have a phone case for. Something that is connected to a power grid that is, you know, supported by coal. You know, like even if you have a smart car and you're plugged into your own power grid and not a solar panel, even that solar panel manufacturing process was probably terrible. So, then that can really feel overwhelming.
Randi: Right.
Blair: But it's about knowing that none of us are perfect. You know, so many world religions, so many, you know, kind of methodologies of thinking are about trying to aspire to better. And so that doesn't mean just being like, ah man, you know, like this is horrible. But it means maybe not getting on a flight to speak at a conference about climate change, if you're concerned about your carbon footprint. Maybe it means, you know, Zooming on in, which is more feasible now that that's more normalized, but it's about harm reduction.
It's about reducing your harm foot- your harm
[00:22:00] footprint. So, if that means, okay, well usually when I wake up I go, and I support this company. This company is terrible. Okay. Well, do I have to support that company or are, are there alternatives? Can I financially decide to do something else without that harming me?
But it also means not throwing stones at those who can't. A big example of this is like, you know, people will, you know, go for cyber Monday. For a lot of folks, especially with this pandemic, cyber Monday, the one that recently passed, was like an opportunity for kids who can't otherwise get a laptop at regular prices to be able to access that type of thing at a lower price. And it's horrible because it's putting stress on Amazon workers. It's putting more money in Jeff Bezoses pocket. Da da da da da. But is it that kid’s fault?
No, no. Exactly. And so, when I see people like trying to denigrate or look down on folks who are living in the world we live in because there's often no other choice, um, and operating on that idea, it frustrates me because how, who is that helping? And so, I
[00:23:00] even say this to my followers, like when I post my Learner O’clocks or my Smarter in Seconds… one person had an issue with the framework I was using to describe something. They like explained what their issue was. Then I was like, great. Will you please tell me what I should use instead? Or what you think would be, you know, like commendable to that? And that's not the same as asking people to do labor for you, but when you've demonstrated that you've done a lot of labor and that you're providing free resources.
And you’re me in this context, and somebody is showing up to tear it down, is that additive? Is that helpful? Are you reducing your harm footprint or are you just kind of being a volcano of harm because you feel like it's other people's business to fix? And a lot of this internal dialogue that we have to have, it's not always going to be public, but it's important work to be done.
Randi: Yeah. Oh yeah. That's huge. You deal with a lot of issues. You talk about a lot of different things. You have lessons on a lot of different things. Do you have- I know it's probably hard to narrow down to one, but do you have
[00:24:00] one thing that in particular right now that you care most about or give a fuck about the most that is really important to, to push forward or think about?
Blair: I think when I get questions like this, I'm always like, “Education,” because it's so all encompassing. It's like, it's like, what's the one thing you care about? And I'm like all of it, but really education because so much of the frustration, I think, happening right now is that some people are on chapter 10 and some people are in the introduction and some people are onto a different book. And that is the case with a lot of classrooms, but it's also the case of a lot of social subject matter.
You know, if you, and a lot of folks experienced this, if they go off to school or they're in a different career path than their parents; they come back home, you know, around Thanksgiving or whatever. And their parents are still where they left the parents, you know? And the kid is like, “Mom, well, don't you understand the intersectional implications of these crises and atrocities?” And it's like, I remember it was my sister in particular, my oldest sister
[00:25:00] who went to Wellesley.,.. I was like eight years old, um, and she had come home and like the stuff she was talking about, it was, like, so over my head, um, because like, that's kinda what I thought college did. I thought college, you know, you got educated and you started using words that nobody else could understand.
And I've been trying to push against that in my own work. But I think that because so many of us are on different pages, like even for, you know, progressive minded folks, uh, not even to go to the folks who don't agree with the beliefs that we hold, like, there's just so many steps to address. And why I love education is because,
changing hearts and minds and showing images of representation, yeah, that has power. But we have to get at the root of why those misconceptions exist, why those stereotypes exist and what systems those stereotypes serve. Cause it's one thing to say, we are not what you believe us to be. And it's another thing to say, why are you led to believe this in the first place? What systems does that serve? What is the context? And so that's really where I find my niche and also being able to make it
[00:26:00] plain in ways that are helpful. I think the most exciting part is when I do Smarter in Second is that people are just sending it to their parents and they're sending it, like, they'll link it on a Facebook argument.
Cause I get DMS for the people who end up watching it. And they're like, Oh, I saw this because my niece posted it on her, on my Facebook page where I was asking her about when she was going to have kids. And now I know that that's horrible and I'm like, you're welcome. But it's also great because I can synthesize
Big, extensive conversations and just have it rapid fire. Just kind of like a product FAQ page where it's like, everybody's going to ask the same three questions about this new lipstick. Let's just get it out of, uh, out of the way in the messaging to start with. So yeah, try to innovate while I do too.
Randi: Yeah. Well, success.
Blair: Thank you.
Randi: You have had success for sure. That's. What is the mindset that you feel like you have to keep? Because right, like this, no one is a superhuman. Sometimes like, days are better than
[00:27:00] others. Some are worse than others. So, what kind of mindset do you feel like you have to keep, to keep going with caring so much about all of this stuff?
Randi: So, I'm already laughing because so much of it is just being super real. I believe in like radical transparency. It doesn't mean that I, like, tell everybody all my business all the time, but if the message, if, you know, if the moment calls for it. Then a hundred percent. Like, and that it's really weird because now I'm an influencer influencer, where like I had spent five years amassing, like 50,000 followers.
And then June, beginning of June, I woke up to like a hundred thousand more and it's just like grown exponentially from there. Well, not exponentially precisely because I know there's going to be like a math person who's like, “not exponentially.” So a lot, it's got a lot. And I think my mindset is just that, you know, just because people look to you for advice or look to you for guidance, doesn't mean you're better than them. Because the human mind, it is, you know, we're predisposed for that. Because we've been taught that the people who are more known, who have more
[00:28:00] access, are beyond reproach, they're above the law, they're above regular expectations. And so, when those people are called in or called out, they react to that defensively because they're beyond reproach.
They're the Be Kind Lady. How could they have a horrible workplace to a certain Monday morning talk show host? So, I love throwing vague shade. It's one of my favorite pastimes. But so like even when we were doing this call, like I made sure to, I was running late, made sure to hop on, so you knew that I was respecting your time. But then when I finally got to sit down with you, I was like, sorry, I didn't schedule potty time between my Zoom interviews.
That's why I'm running late. And it's also other things, like thanking people. I've been on, um, a few magazine shoots since I've gotten more, you know, known for the work that I do. And I just treat myself like a regular person. Cause I'm still a regular person, even if I'm the one getting photographed or I'm the one doing the lights or the sound I had moved like a wooden box out of my way so I could like go
[00:29:00] to where the mark was for me to pose. And a woman was like, “I'm so sorry, I didn't move this for you.” And I was like, “I'm so sorry you feel like that would have bothered me.” You know, like what kind of folks are you dealing with on a regular basis? I'm so sorry about that. You know, but there are a lot of people who believe themselves to- because they do good work.
They are above. Because they work at a nonprofit, they can treat their employees horribly. Because they work in this field or, you know, line of work, they can, you know, act like they know everything. I never want to be that type of person because I've seen that I've been on the other side of it. And it's just this mindset that you treat everyone properly. You treat everyone with respect.
I hate the phrase, “treat the janitor the same way you treat the CEO.” Like, okay. First of all, we're not connected to our identities as what we, our job titles are.
Randi: Yes.
Blair: Let's not even reinforce that myth. Let's just treat people as humans and time and time again, I've seen the fruits of that, you know, like it's never the case that I was like, “Oh man, I was going to treat that person like garbage, but I'm glad I
[00:30:00] didn't.” Like, no, I don't do that. But on that same shoot, the stylist was somebody who I had like a two- or three-hour conversation with on an Amtrak from DC to New York in 2017. And we had lost touch and this dude was ended up being my sylist - shout-out to Cory Stokes - and they had, he had a great impression of me, because I’m not an asshole. And it's not, we don't do these things because it's a fear of getting called out later.
It's just because it's the better thing to do. If you don't have to lie about who you are and how you act, there's a lot less skeletons in your closet. Because you're not causing problems. You're not just being a good person because you're afraid of getting called out. You're being a good person because you actually care about being a good person.
It's just those things; having humility, and then also feeling really blessed. You know, I wake up every morning. I get to be exactly the person I want to be, that I am. I get to speak to people from all around the world. I have this really cool pen pal program where folks want to DM me, I'll give them my PO box. And I just get to
[00:31:00] be, you know, have all these different stories from all these people. And after I was arrested in Baton Rouge, it really changed my mindset around human interaction. I stopped thinking about people as strangers. I, you know, strike up conversations with people. it's harder to do because of COVID. But I think about the fact that a conversation that you have with somebody, that you take that with them. They might forget about it the next day, it might completely change the trajectory of their life.
You just never know because the energy you put out is always going to be received differently by the person who receives it. And you can never anticipate what that means. That means that sometimes we have to be extra cautious because we don't know how those words are going to harm somebody. We also don't know how they're going to positively change that person.
And if you think of every human interaction like that kind of kaleidoscope of possibility, it becomes extremely easy to be like, super excited about living and just like getting excited. It doesn't mean I don't have moments of difficulty where I feel like I'm in despair, or I feel like there's
[00:32:00] difficulty, but it makes those moments easier to get away from when I remind myself, hey, I can be excited, but it's also a fine line between that and toxic positivity. There are moments to be sad. Sadness is an emotion for a reason, and it also has to do a lot with mental health. I don't get to this cheery disposition just on my own. I have a therapist, I have a psychiatrist I'm on medication for my depression, for my anxiety.
I have a great support system. So, when all those things kind of coalesce beautifully, then I'm able to be my best self, but it doesn't happen in a vacuum.
Randi: Mm. I feel like- okay, so, so many things you just said were normalizing things that it's, I mean, it's kind of terrible that they're not already normalized, but I am with you a hundred percent.
First of all, mental health, treating everyone like humans. Yeah. That's so, so that experience being on the set for your photo shoot, and that woman
[00:33:00] apologizing profusely for-
Blair: I was like- my mind, immediately, it was like, “I don't know what monster you've dealt with before that yelled at you about not moving a thing. And I'm so sorry that-,” I didn't say that, but I was like, “It's fine. I have hands. It's all good.”
Randi: But I, that moment is going to be huge for that person.
Blair: I hope so.
Randi: It is because, in a past life, I worked on sets and did those kinds of things. And it was so normal, even if, if you didn't want it to be that way, the longer you're in an environment where that's just kind of the norm. And maybe you're on a you're, you know, on a good shoot or you're on a good set where it's not so much of that. Or there are a few less people doing those things. But it's so ingrained in those cultures.
Blair: And it's wild because it's like, I'm not mic person. Um, well, all the thing I always do, and it's also served me well, because if you treat people nice, they genuinely remember you and then want to work with you again. So, I dunno, if somebody is like, hell bent on being an
[00:34:00] asshole, unless it serves their career. There's your tidbit. Hopefully not though, but, like, I always say hi to the people. Cause I've done light design. I've done sound design. Mind you. It was like in high school, but I still remember what it was like to get treated like a footnote.
And it's like, okay, well, if I don't do my job, you sound, like, you sound horrible, but I do my job to punish you, I'm gonna make you look super lit up. You know what I mean? And it's not even the idea that you should only do things because somebody could get you back. But just the idea that like, hey, you're miking me up.
You're making sure that I sound good. You're doing your job. You exist in the world. Hi, I'm Blair. Nice to meet you. And it doesn't cost any money to do. It costs zero time. It's the right way to live. I think, part of it is just going outside of yourself. And I think that that helps in so many different moments because.
There's a loneliness that comes with really pursuing what you like doing, because sometimes it doesn't align with what your family thinks you should do, what your friends think you should do. And if you're more present with the
[00:35:00] people around you, even if it's extremely fleeting, you're using that day for a richer experience. And it's like, so basic and fundamental to the way I live my life. But I also find that a lot of people don't think of the world that way. They kind of, you know- I mean, and there's some days where you wake up, you go to sleep, and anything that happens in between is whatever. Definitely have those days. But there's other days where it's just like, you want to open yourself up to possibility because
it's just a, a richer human experience. And that's how I've been trying to frame the social justice work too. None of us can un-live the events of 2020. None of us can un-live what it means to have a dystopian nightmare where like you have sports fan having to show up on TV screens instead of being in public because their air, their breath had literally be poisonous. Like that is some dystopian nightmare stuff, that like Hitchcock couldn't have imagined.
Randi: Right.
Blair: We can't un-live it. So, we have a choice. Are you going to act like none of this happened? Like, like you got, you know, Men In
[00:36:00] Black flash - more pop culture - or are you going to act accordingly? And it's that thing of when you were a kid and you would like his- listen to like history lessons and you'd be like, how did the people back then let it happen?
How did they treat these people so horribly? Right now, we all have an invitation from history to do better or to be remembered as a bunch of assholes who didn't give a shit, who didn't do anything. And leave it to other people to deal with. And we're in a position to be able to change that. So why not?
Randi: Absolutely. Oh my gosh, absolutely. That reminds me of- I was watching a, I don't know, maybe it was like an IGTV thing with Glennon Doyle, recently and she was talking about how she was, she was learning about, you know, the Civil, Civil Rights Movement with her, with her daughters and looking at some images.
And one of her daughters was like, “Hey mom, we would be there if we were, it was during that time. Wouldn't we?” And she was like, “Yeah, of course, you know,
[00:37:00] we care.” And her other daughter was like, “Would we though? Because isn't that happening right now? And are we, there?
Blair: How old is her other daughter, because that is iconic.
Randi: Right? Right. It blew her mind and she was like, “Oh shit, we need to go to a protest.” I believe she's like middle school or maybe high school.
Blair: Yeah. That's definitely some teen energy that was like, really mom, are we though?
Randi: Yeah. And it rocked her world and woke her up and, I think anybody, and then anybody watching that, of course, like she's an influencer too.
So, like anybody watching that was like, “Oh, damn,” like, especially white people. Like we need to do some shit, um, like women, especially. So…
Blair: Yeah. And that's the thing, but there's also a precedent for it. You know, not this, this idea of like, Oh, this has never happened before. I'm going to be doing uncharted waters. Like even of my own experience, when I was arrested around the Alton Sterling protests, the people who I got arrested with- it was me, one other Black woman, and the rest of the folks were White women.
[00:38:00] And one White non, nonbinary person who was, you know, like misidentified because it's a super binary world we live in.
And I like looked around at all of the officers, like at all of the, like, we were in the big wagon. You know, like the big van and I'm, I'm handcuffed to, to another White woman and I'm looking around and I’m like, “what?” And so I like, we spend the next, you know, several hours in a holding cell. And then we end up in actual prison in Baton Rouge, East Baton Rouge Parish Prison.
And I'm just so like mystified because it's very difficult to do this work and not have distrust of the people who uphold the systems, and to constantly open your heart up to harm. Now, this is different from the prejudice of assuming negative negativity from a group of people, because they are historically marginalized group that we've been indoctrinated to, to fear and, you know, be wary of, but to actually be cautious about people who have demonstrated a, either willingness to be part of a negative system or an unwillingness to change that
[00:39:00] system. And a lot of the women were telling me that their parents were the folks who are spitting on integration, you know, students who were integrating into schools. Their parents were the blue lives matter, all lives matter folks. And it was a matter of a decision to drive over to Baton Rouge, from New Orleans or from wherever they were in Louisiana, and take a stand.
And that was, it was exciting for me because I had not anticipated that was a reality.
Randi: Hm.
Blair: And where I get frustrated is when people put that on a pedestal above, like, other work being done, but it is part of the story. And so, I think that just encouraging people to know that, yeah, can be done and yeah, mistakes will be made. But those mistakes aren't necessarily about us, you know?
And, and I experienced that too, you know, I- My grandfather, the man who raised my mother, who was a Romanian Jewish refugee. And he moved to Detroit when he was very young and had to basically hide his Jewish ancestry in order to
[00:40:00] one; be able to be in the United States, but also to be able to, you know, it was a survival moment.
And so, I do have like this, this legacy of being in touch and knowing about Jewish culture, but at the same time, it's very difficult to feel comfortable and secure in advocacy around a group that you don't belong to. And so, I was, you know, really feeling like I need to do something about the, this antisemitism that's happening.
So, I don't want to do what I feel like happens to Black folks so often, you know. Like Black folk are sitting out here, like why isn't it other folks that aren’t standing up for us. And then at the same time, a lot of the Jewish community is feeling that same way; where is the solidarity? Where is the showing of strength.
And so, I started to, like, do some more research to make sure that I was doing it right. But I felt that fear that I think a lot of folks feel when they are advocating for a group that they're not a part of. What if I mess up? What if I get called out? What if this happens? And I'm the person out here being like, well, just do it anyway and just be humble when you learn and then not doing it myself. And
[00:41:00] so, I started to do it. And I put a post and I talked about how the United States is inherently ableist, antisemitic, you know, anti-Black, et cetera, et cetera. And I had hyphenated antisemitic. And then I learned because a couple of very gracious folks let me know that if I hyphenate antisemitic or antisemitism, it reinforces anti-Jewish ideology that semitism is something that exists. Semitic is something that you use to describe languages, but not necessarily to describe groups of people. And that ideology is actually rooted in Nazi-ism. And so, I updated my post accordingly and then use that as a learning opportunity to consult with a couple of rabbis, um, and some antisemitism scholars on how I can make a Smarter in Second's around that. On antisemitism. Richer experience. I get to demonstrate learning in public and I also get to do better. And so that's what it looks like; going and being uncomfortable in that way. And putting yourself out there in the same way you would, if you were trying out, you know, like roller derby with your friends for the first time. You might fall on your butt,
[00:42:00] but, hey, at least you went out there, you know? And so, it doesn't mean going out there and, uh, trying to say. Oh, I'm going to fix this for you. I'm going to solve this thing. But to say, hey, I'm going to listen to folks. I'm going to cite those folks. I'm going to make sure that I'm doing this on their terms and being helpful, should my help be needed. I can offer it, but it won't always be taken up.
And so, all of those things have to come together, but it can be frightening. And I think it's also important for folks to understand that even for myself, somebody who is an anti-racism educator, I'm an author, an educator, like all the stuff you were saying; I still go through that.
Randi: You're human. It's a human- Yes.
Blair: What a concept, you know.
Randi: Yeah. Wow. First of all, that's, that's incredible because what you, what you did with that and so that you could make a Smarter in Seconds, and you could learn from it, is what a beautiful mindset to be open to that learning always.
[00:43:00] And, I mean, that's the way to level up. But also, like, you're giving the opportunity for your community to level up too, because you are putting these out there for others.
Blair: And it's also, like, such a stress relief. As much as it might feel like, you know, a constant stressor to be at the threat of embarrassment or like doing something wrong. If you could just make sure that people know that you're a human being and that you're constantly learning, they are a lot more likely to, you know, treat you accordingly.
If you present yourself as somebody who's extremely curated, extremely perfect, and you know, above reproach, you're going to get called out and not called in because you've shown people that you don't have a pathway forward to learn. For me, I, I'm always just honest with folks that, hey, like I had all these followers overnight.
I do know something about influencing, but I'm still learning, da da da da. I'm going to sell you some stuff. I'm going to teach you some stuff, but I'm always going to be clear about it. It just sets the expectations for people. It sets boundaries that says, hey, I'm constantly learning. It doesn't mean
[00:44:00] that I'm going to, like, claim to know stuff that I don't know.
I did a piece recently on mental health stigma, and I was like, well, I'm not a psychologist. So, let me go find a psychologist that can help me make this post and then pay her, or pay them to make that post. It's just, it's such a relief. Because I don't have people thinking that I'm some, you know, social justice deity that is always going to get it right without ever getting it wrong.
They know that I'm a regular person. They know that behind the screen that there's Blair Imani, who gets a lot of trolls, who loves Star Trek, who loves pop culture references. And I don't have to pretend to be somebody else, which is great. Cause I, you know, I didn't go to school for acting.
Randi: That's awesome. So, what do you feel like is a trap that people who do care a lot about things and people who do give a fuck can fall into, and, and how do you feel like it, they could navigate that? If there was one sort of giant, hairy trap that folks can fall into?
Blair: I think one of the biggest
[00:45:00] traps... There's so many, I'm going to have to go through a list. I'll do two. So, the first one, the first one- I was like, I have 18, but I'll just do two. The first one is reinventing the wheel and the other one is burnout. Super common. So, reinventing the wheel; it's this idea of, wow, now that I'm aware of this thing, let me go solve it because nobody who's actually experienced
this has tried these things. And in June when everyone was realizing racism was an issue - not everyone, but everyone - there was a lot of folks who reach out to me and be like, “Hey, Blair, can you get me in touch with the NAACP? I have an idea for a letter writing campaign to Donald Trump, that's going to change everything.”
And I was like, the NAACP has been around for a hundred years, and I doubt that I'm speaking to somebody who has some magic sauce that nobody's ever thought of at the NAACP.
Randi: Right?
Blair: So, take a step back. Or another thing that I experienced a lot is, you know, I'll provide an educational lesson and I'll have somebody who said, “Hey, I learned about this one time. You're wrong.” Even though I have sourced it and I make a living educating folks about it. So those are
[00:46:00] two things. It's just like kind of the hubris that comes with being a human that, of course I have nothing else to learn. I'm here to educate and that makes me grumpy. But I also, I, I get it, which, which helps me.
But the other harm that you run with that is say that you really want to do something, you know, involving anti-racism work and you live in a super White area like Boulder, Colorado. Where, when I went, I saw two people, two Black people total. And one was myself in the mirror. And so, you don't necessarily know where to start.
Well, you start looking at resources online. And what you run the risk of when you try reinventing the wheel, is inserting yourself into spaces that maybe aren't for you or that don't make sense for you. And I see this a lot with, um, you know, well-meaning white folks who try and, you know, oh, I'll start going to a Black Baptist church without really understanding what that can mean for the space,
what that can mean, especially during a pandemic. Don't go to, don't congregate in spaces. Period. Unless you're six feet away, wearing a mask, and all of the CDC guidelines, cdc.gov
[00:47:00] for more on that. But really thinking about, does it make sense for me? You know, like I think about this in the types of privilege that I hold. I'm a cisgender woman. I want to show up for the trans community. Does that mean showing up in spaces that are created by and for the trans community that haven't had any invitations extended to folks outside of that space? No. It's making sure that you can offer things and show up in authentic ways, and fortify what's been built by that community, even under systems of oppression, instead of trying to build something right alongside it that is going to tip over and fall onto there’s. Or, worse, collect all the funding that that community actually needs.
The other thing is burnout. So that's again, going to the Lizzie McGuire example, where you feel like you have to be run yourself into the ground in order to hold other people up.
Randi: Right.
Blair: That ends up doing so many harmful things. And for myself, I've learned a lot too. I have to really set boundaries with people. You know, I'm a public figure. And sometimes people think that they are my best friend because they see me every day. I don't know who they are, but like, they feel like I see Blair all the
[00:48:00] time. She's my best bud. And so, I have to acknowledge that and yeah, the systems that, that creates, but also be very honest with people about, you know… Somebody, you know, reached out to me recently about dating advice, in the context of Islam.
I don't do that. So, I let them know. I don't do that, you know, and I'm not going to. I'm in a position now where I'm just not willing to go and become an expert on everything just to meet everybody's need, because there are so many other people who do that for a living. There's so many other people who do that well, and I don't want to exhaust myself and distract from the other things that I need to be doing in order to be everything for everybody. Because that's how you let yourself down and you let others down.
Randi: Alright, folks, you heard it from Blair. Make sure that we support. I mean, yes, support the people already doing the work. See if it makes sense for you to step in where you step in, and don't do everything. You don't need to be everyone to everybody.
Blair: Specialize. You really have to specialize because like for myself, you know, I was talking about, you know, I can't go to protests
[00:49:00] anymore. Okay. Well, I'm not going to run myself into the ground and, and, you know, face mental collapse every time that there's a social issue of social unrest. What I'm instead going to do: I went to school to be a historian. I think I'm pretty good at synthesizing complex issues into an easy and understandable format.
Randi: You are.
Blair: There's a huge field for that. Thank you. And I have a good time doing it. And so, I'm able to be happy, whole, and do the things that I'm good at doing to help. Instead of trying to put myself into a box that society has given me, or other people have given me, or other pressures have given me. And you just come out happier because you have to get in where you fit in, as the saying goes. And that. That has to do with social justice too.
Randi: Totally. So, who is a person that has influenced you or impacted you greatly in what you do and like who you are today?
Blair: I definitely think my mom, because she is so fierce and feisty and liberal and like no-nonsense. And she really instilled in me this idea that you don't say, “I don't
[00:50:00] know,” when you have all these resources at your disposal, you know. It's okay to admit when you don't know something to be like, I don't, I'm not the expert, but as far as ending it there, you can't just be content, not knowing.
You have to learn. Not the same. I'm always thinking about like, people are gonna be like, “Well, what about the-“ It's not the same as having to fundamentally understand somebody’s experience to respect them. Not that. It's, like, on different subject matter. A lot of times it would be like on homework. She'd be like, “Oh, well, when is this due?”
And I'd be like, “I don't know.” She'd be like, “Well, why didn't you ask your teacher? Make sure to ask your teacher tomorrow.” It's always trying to make sure that you're, you know, doing critical thinking, actively. Then thinking about the ways that you can show up and just be present in ways that help not only you, but the people around you. And she's also so strong, like she is
so brutally honest. And she's and I was like… I would hate it when I was a kid, I'd be like, “Mom, can't you just like, lie to me.” She'd be like, “No, because if I lie to you, that's a disservice to you. That sets you up for failure. And it sets you up for failure, then you're not going to trust me. And that creates other problems.”
[00:51:00] And I’d be like, “Mom, like, oh my gosh. Just tell me that this assignment is finished, “or, or, you know, like, da da da. And I so appreciate that because I find that, you know, what creates those monsters that yell at people for not moving, you know, a milk carton out of the way or whatever those called, like, those wooden boxes on set.
Randi: Apple box.
Blair: Yeah, there we go. Those apple boxes on set. What creates people that yell about that are people who only say yes to, to folks who are in power. Who only, you know, validate those people. Never, you know, bring them back down to earth or have a system of accountability or trust. It doesn't mean like, let people come into your life and, you know, shutting you down from your dreams, but really have people around you who can be honest and what that honesty and that transparency looks like for people, because that has so shaped the person that I am. If my mom isn't in a place to have a conversation with somebody, she will let them know. And I feel like that's a lot better than ghosting somebody or making a bunch of excuses.
Randi: Mm. Yeah. That is huge. Having that conversation,
[00:52:00] whether it's uncomfortable, or not… is so much more human. Again.
Blair: It is, it's just, I think it's a better way to, cause like we live in a time where we can see the worst news ever and the most exciting, cute video in the world at the same time or within seconds of each other.
And I don't totally believe that the human mind was wired to be prepared for Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and YouTube, but here we are. And so, we have to create boundaries, whether that's like content warnings and safety protocols, but it's also like with my partner and I, If I just read a terrible story or they just read a terrible story, we make sure like, “Hey, are you in a headspace for horrible news?”
No. All right, cool. I'll talk to you about it tomorrow, or maybe you don't even need to know. But it's so much better than like being told in a hypothetical situation. Like, “Hey, you know, I'm not even going to give the hypo, hypothetical situation cause I could go to a dark place, but it's like, it's so much better to just end at that place than being told, like, uh, you know, a fountain of nonsense. Or to do another thing
[00:53:00] where like, you know, when John Lewis died, my partner was like, “Take a seat, come and hug me.” And then I'll tell you the news. Because the alternative is just seeing the notifications. And I think we just have to protect each other and our spirits from that. And you have to do it in an overt way because humans, yeah, we can, we can fall some context clues, but for the most part, we're thinking about ourselves and we're not generally anticipating when another person's going to react to it.
So, don't let yourself be disappointed. Let the people know how you're going to react and what you're open to. And if they're not respecting that that's a whole other conversation to have.
Randi: Right. Right. Oh, so it's, I mean, it's humanity, it's kindness, it's honesty, and a nice combination of all of those things. So then what advice, I mean, you've already given so many good nuggets of advice, but if you could pick a golden piece of advice for listeners to either take action on or just let simmer, what do you think that would
[00:54:00] be?
Blair: So, I have this analogy. If- you you've been able to tell I like analogies. But it's the, my refrigerator of justice analogy.
And what that's about is looking at justice and the work that needs to be done as a potluck dinner, pre-COVID times, or an alternate universe where that doesn't exist, where there's health infrastructure. And everybody has to bring something. And you and your heart want to bring mac and cheese, but in your fridge you have no dairy items.
You don't even have dairy alternatives. You don't have cheese or cheese alternatives. You have no macaroni noodles. You don’t even have a macaroni pan. But what you do have is celery and, you know, spices and dill pickles, and you have tuna, fresh-caught, all ready to go. You should probably bring the tuna salad, even though you don't want to make it.
Because you have everything for it. And you should probably let Dolores, from down the street, who's been bringing mac and cheese to this potluck for the past 10 years, bring the mac and cheese. And so that's how we have to look at justice. We have to
[00:55:00] look in our toolbox or refrigerator of justice. Look at the ingredients that we have. And maybe figure out what we need to do there. If I was constantly trying to bring the mac and cheese, which was me trying to be an on-the-ground protester and not make my tuna salad, which was becoming a historian and using my talents and my expertise for that purpose, I would- Where would I be right now?
I'd be unhappy. I'd be burnt out. I'd probably have had some type of mental collapse. I wouldn't be in a good place. And it was not what I wanted to do because sometimes we have a vision either given to us by society, or by ourselves, that is the stream of who we want to be. And sometimes we have to have a small funeral for that and then have a, not a gender reveal party because those are horrible, but have a shower for who we have to become.
And it's all about managing our own expectations and figuring out how we, how we sort ourselves into the world. It doesn't mean don't chase your dreams, but it means maybe recognize that what you've envisioned for yourself is limited and that there's so many other opportunities. So that's why my nugget of wisdom for folks is to
[00:56:00] figure out what works for you, because there are so many things in the world to do.
Randi: That analogy refrigerator is, oh, yes. Solid gold. I mean, it's, it's really focusing on what you individually bring to the table. Pun intended. Right?
Blair: I love it. I love it.
Randi: And, and what your, what your specific strengths are, right? Like you, what you are doing now touches so many more people and make such a huge impact, um, more of an impact than it sounds like then you would feel like you were making, getting burnt out at every protest that came across your social media feed, that you saw.
Blair: Absolutely. Because I even tried and it's funny, cause like it's never going to be one. It's never gonna be linear. You're not going to just shift gears and be like, okay, forget about that. You're always going to be trying. You'd be like, okay, well let's, let's try it again. Let's try it again. So, I went to this like super not stressful protest. They had like a
[00:57:00] permit. It was more of a demonstration or a rally. And I was hyperventilating and sobbing the whole time. One, because it was very emotional and touching, but also because I was in this panic mode. And so sometimes you need reminders. That the mac and cheese are trying to make isn’t your thing, and to go back to what you know you can do well. I think that's also what finding your purpose is about, is figuring out how you can do what makes you whole and what makes you happy and serves the world in an awesome way, without making you feel like a martyr.
Randi: Mm. Mhmm. Because what is, what is martyrism going to help? Not you, not the world. So, switching gears a little… maybe, maybe. Actually, I don't know if it's switching gears. It depends on your answer. What is one thing that you have never tried that you would be interested in trying?
Blair: There's so many. I'm also like a weirdo because I did a pop quiz on my Instagram recently. And I was like, guess which one of these things I can't do? And
[00:58:00] like, one of the things that I can do as welding and people were like, what? And I was like, long story. But I try to do a lot of different stuff. I don't know. I guess one thing…
Randi: I've always wanted to weld, by the way. That sounds incredible.
Blair: It's so dangerous, but it's so, it feels like such an accomplishment to get, get stuff done. I want to say skydiving. I'm terrified of Heights, but I would like to try it. I think it's like one of those things where, It seems so far removed from anything that I do. But it's also healthy to do stuff that's outside of your wheelhouse. Not everything you do has to be related to your job. Not every conversation you have has to be about social justice.
That coming from me, that's huge. But to make sure that you're holding on to stuff that isn't related at all. So yeah, I want to skydive and then I will do a history lesson about the history of skydiving to bring it all back.
Randi: You'll tie it all in still. Still have that historian in you. So, funny, skydiving has come up a few times
[00:59:00] with people that I've talked to, but it's always different because everyone is so unique and a different human. One of the guests on this show, Juniper, was like definitely not skydiving. That was like her first thing; no skydiving. And then another guest had always wanted to try it too. And she did, and now she's like obsessed and she was afraid of heights. And she was like, it's the thing I want to do if anyone ever visits me. You know, instead of taking them around town or to, like, uh, an interesting restaurant, I'm taking you skydiving. Because it will change your life.
Blair: I love that. I think another thing that I would want to do, like learn even maybe even more than skydiving, which may be like a one-off thing. But I definitely want to learn how to fly planes. I'm so interested in flight. I travel so much, and the way that I got over my fear of flying was by watching a bunch of things about what could go wrong on a flight. Like, as far as like the auxiliary power, what could go wrong with weather? And it just gave me peace of mind because now when I feel trivial- it's like the best example; I
[01:00:00] was, we were coming into Boston from North Carolina and there was a missed approach, which is when the plane is landing and they can't land because it's either too windy or icy on the runway. So, they have to go back around. So, it looks like you're landing. And then it's like, psych, just kidding. And the people around me were freaking out. And it's also frustrating being a Muslim and being a hijabi, because there's always this Islamophobic,
kind of miasma around it, where people are looking at you as if you caused the turbulence, which is so stupid. Stupid to the point that when I was traveling, when I worked at Planned Parenthood, I would bring my Harry Potter wand and like bring it out if somebody was staring at me too long. And I'd be like, “Oh, look I’m controlling the weather.”
And then this one dude was like, “I'm a racist.” And I was like, “Okay. Wow.” Back then we had a beer together, a good talk, but just the self-reflection. But anyway, so the missed approach happened, and everybody was freaking out and I was like, “Don't worry, ladies and gentlemen. I don't know why the pilot isn't saying this, but this is called a missed approach is actually very common. And particularly in cold weather, it just means that we have to fly around again. And we'll land.
[01:01:00] It will probably delay us by a couple of minutes.” and people were like, “Oh, thank you. Do you fly?” And I was like, all the time, but not planes. And…
Randi: Incredible.
Blair: That was so exciting. And I always have dreams about flying and I love flight simulators, but I think a big part of me is like, okay, well, you're, you're already public figure. You're already, you know, Muslim. You’re already kind of all the things. Maybe don't learn how to fly a plane. And my mom's like, please don't, because I don't need any more heart attacks, anyone more stress. But I think planes are so cool because it's not the final frontier, space is, but it's, it's just so alluring to me.
And it's so mystifying. And I've never seen a Black woman pilot getting on a plane. It's always White men. And, and, uh, the staff tends to be more diverse. So, I think it'd be interesting instead of, that's kind of, my promise to myself is like, once I kind of do all the stuff that I want to do, and my kids are off to college, I'm going to learn how to fly.
Randi: Hm. That is so cool. Why, why the heck not, really? It's something you always wanted to do. You can still fit in. I love how you fit everything
[01:02:00] in. I mean, everything that you want to do, you're not limiting yourself, but you are pacing yourself.
Blair: I'm trying to, because I feel like, well, one; I don't know, I'm waiting until after my kids, that I don't really even have yet, are done with school. So that way, like I'm not being reckless. I don't want to be one of those that has like a midlife crisis and like decides to learn how to like surf, and then ends up in a full body cast because they were being reckless. I'm not trying to do that. Also, I want to respect my mom's wishes and, like, wait until she's done on the Earth before I be extra reckless with my life.
And I feel like that's good timing. Cause some things, you know- it's also the idea, you know, that we have time. You know, we don't all have to fit all, all of our accomplishments and all our hopes and dreams and wishes into our, you know, early twenties or by the time we're 30. We can go and be around. People are living longer than ever before. We need to make plans that are longer term.
Randi: I love that you're saying that because there are so many people saying the opposite, right? Like, YOLO, you only live once. Do it now. Do everything right now. And I think that's, that's a lot of the attitude
[01:03:00] that is probably happening with folks who aren't wearing masks or aren't following CDC protocols.
Blair: It’s like, oh yeah, you really need to go to that party because there's never going to be a party again. It's like, yeah, if you die from COVID, cause you're ass wasn’t wearing a mask, there's not going to be any more parties, Or , or, you could learn how to play Sudoko, and get that Rosetta Stone that you've been wanting to do, and stay, get your ass home and use that Peloton you got because of the Peloton woman sold it to you, and then go to all the other parties for the next 10 years, because you decided to be responsible.
Randi: Mmhm.
Blair: And I think that's a huge thing. It’s just that, with social media, we can feel like everything is instant and if it doesn't happen right now, it's never going to happen. Dude, chill, it'll be fine. And there'll be even better, like camera phones for you to capture that awesomeness with, so you can post on that new app that existed in like five years and get tons of, you know, probably won't even be likes, it'd be something else. So yeah.
Randi: Enticing them with what they want. The likes, the social media. All right. So, Blair, do you
[01:04:00] have a one cause or organization, uh, that you would like to let folks know about that they can help support?
Blair: Indeed. So, you know, at the beginning of my career, as a public figure, especially because I had converted to Islam, I did so much like Muslim 101.
And I felt like, okay, I'll just be the ambassador of all Muslim things. And that got kind of exhausting. Cause it's really exhausting to have to, like, to explain on a fundamental level, a basic thing about yourself that you feel like is automatic. So, I don't do a lot of that work right now. But my organization, Muslims for Progressive Values.
And it's funny because I'm the ambassador of Muslim's for Progressive Values. They are really amazing. They have this idea that you can be yourself and be Muslim at the same time. And they do work, not only here in the United States, but Internationally, fighting and equipping people with the knowledge of how to use defensive theology, whether that's through the Koran or through various view logical structures that they live in, to be able to talk about social justice and fight for justice. And it was founded by
[01:05:00] Ani Zonneveld in 2007. And what's so exciting about it is that she was doing this, you know, she's been doing this for a minute. She totally took me under her wing. Is like one of the most compassionate people I know, and so committed to social justice. And so, if there's an organization that people want to support in terms of helping, not only Muslims here in the US but Internationally, and also multi interfaith groups, I would definitely check out MPVUSA.org and tell them Blair sent you.
Randi: Mm, so awesome. Thank you for sharing that.
Blair: No problem.
Randi: So now, Blair, I'm going to be mindful of your time, but how can folks find you? We'll put all of this in the show notes, website, social media, wherever you want them to find you. Patreon. I know you have one of those.
Blair: Yeah, so you can find me- So, I think the most comprehensive link structure I have is on my Instagram link. You'll find like, I think it's like BlairImani.campsite.bio. And now I have to check to make sure I was correct. One second. Let's see.
[01:06:00] Okay. Yeah, it is BlairImani.campsite.bio, what's up. And so, you just click on there and you see all my links. You see, like, my Ted Talk, my about page, my FAQ page for frequently asked questions, my Smarter in Seconds. My Patreon page. And I’m not hard to find. You just do a little Google search, you'll find me. And I also respond to almost all my DMS, which takes so much time, but I make time for it because that's one of the things I loved most about social media before I had this like massive growth on platform was to be able to just interact with people from all around the world.
So, if you liked what you heard, you have questions, if you want to ask a message or whatever, or if you want my PO box so that we can be pen pals, cause that's adorable.
Randi: Uh, I want that. I for sure want that.
Blair: I will email you my, my PO box then.
Randi: Okay. Awesome. And she is not lying folks. I DM’d her on Instagram.
[Transition Music – instrumental]
Randi: Blair Imani. Am I right folks? I am into this situation of her caring enough to leverage her biggest
[01:07:00] strengths, to spread more caring, via education. That she does what she does in a super fun, engaging, approachable, and kind way makes it even more awesome. That it started at the ripe young age of 12 with an interview with Dr. Terrence Roberts of the Little Rock Nine is the cherry on top. I wanted to virtually hug her right through the Zoom when she was talking about being incapable of bringing herself to a place of disregard, because same. It's the best when you find your people. When you focus on what you're for instead of what you're against, you stay more connected, open to build with others, and as Blair mentioned, it's a lot less lonely and so much more manageable, really.
And then regarding the topic of inserting yourself into spaces that maybe aren't for you, or that don't make sense for you; First, I love
[01:08:00] Blair's potluck analogy, and all of her analogies. Second, this is something that we may need to give ourselves, and others, grace to learn as we go. I'll tell you a quick personal story about this from those first days, right after George Floyd was murdered. I was going to protest and found myself masked, maintaining social distance, and slathering hand sanitizer.
I found myself on my knees repeating, “I can't breathe,” with a crowd of people. Later that weekend or early the next week, I saw multiple posts on social media about how that was not the best thing to be doing as a very visibly White person, with not even close to the same lived experience when it comes to encounters with police. Sure. I was a little embarrassed at first, at the thought of having possibly made anyone around me
[01:09:00] that I had intended to be in solidarity with uncomfortable. But I just stopped. I just didn't do it again. I learned and understood that while my support was appropriate, me joining that particular part of the demonstration was probably not. I didn't know. But then I did.
So, I continued showing up, but I adjusted the way I showed up in those spaces. This also brings me to, that part of the conversation with Blair about the internal work of making sure that in caring we're doing are best to be additive and helpful, reducing what she called our harm footprint, versus being a volcano of harm.
That's something I want to make sure I check in on regularly for myself, for sure. That making the world a little less terrible kind of thing. Alright.
[01:10:00] That is it for this one, folks. You can find more information about Blair, Muslims for Progressive Values, and more in the show notes. I, for one, am going to jump on that pen pal program she's got by sliding into her DMs on Instagram.
Okey-doke. As always, thank you for listening and huddling around another good heart with me. I'm thankful that you're out there being you. And let's let the folks we love, know it one extra time this week. Yeah? Keep giving a fuck, keep being you. And remember, there is no such thing as caring too much.
[Outro Music] You, you, you, you care to much. You, you, you, you care too much. You, you, you, you care too much. People who give a fuck. People who give a fuck, yeah. You care too much.