Have you ever been told that you care too much or been labeled “sensitive,” like it wasn't a good thing? It's quite possible that you’re someone who gives a fuck. And you're in the right place, kindred spirit.
Have you ever been told that you care too much or been labeled “sensitive,” like it wasn't a good thing? It's quite possible that you’re someone who gives a fuck. And you're in the right place, kindred spirit.
In this very first episode of "You Care Too Much," I share a little bit about who I am and why I think sharing more stories about purpose driven humans has the potential to shift the cultural narrative. I talk about empowering more people to lead with empathy, vulnerability & caring, while being in community with kindness-forward individuals and feeling seen as our authentic selves.
And there may be a special guest... or two.
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Created, Produced, Hosted & Edited by: Randi Johns
Music by: Tefty & Meems
Randi: Hello folks. Episode one. Welcome to “you care too much.” My name is Randi Johns, and I'm going to tell you a little bit about what to expect from this podcast and a little bit about how it came to be. I guess I'll start here. Here we are, in the middle of a pandemic, among other things, and isolated into introspection, shadow work, acknowledgement of exactly who we are.
And when I say “we,” I mean, I mean “me,” because obviously I can only speak for myself. But yeah, that's where I'm at. First- so being isolated, isn't completely terrible for an introvert. Or, I'll call myself an extroverted introvert, but, but definitely an introvert in that I recharge alone and enjoy that. So, so being isolated, like I said, isn't too terrible for an introvert, though it has absolutely made me become even more intentional about the energy I choose in my life and what kind of energy I give away.
This podcast felt like both a positive way to, to give some of that energy away, and is sort of creating the thing that I needed; a younger me, current me, and likely future me as well.
What I mean by that is that I think it would have been helpful, as a pretty empathetic person, to have more of that sort of blasted out to the world and not feel so weird for being a pretty sensitive soul.
Here is a place where we'll gather as a community of actively kind hearted individuals, where that sensitivity is celebrated as simultaneously soft and strong. Not labeled as weakness but recognized as a real strength. See, I've been told, “you care too much,” more times than I can even think about remembering, as a lot of you may have as well.
As an adult, I've learned to embrace and own those things that growing up I had learned in one way or another were weaknesses. The biggest one of these is what I'll call my most nontraditionally marketable strength: Empathy. Surprise, surprise - it's even one of my top five in the strength finders test.
Grandpa Ed: You care about everybody. You want to see people treated equal. You want to see everybody get an even break.
Randi: So, that was Grandpa Ed.
Grandma Sheila: Well, and you're extremely sensitive. You know, we've all known that about you were very, very young.
Randi: And that is Sheila, or Grandma Sheila.
Grandpa Ed: It's just hard to explain. I guess you've always cared about people. That's been very obvious. I think it's the way you're raised and more of the way you think. A lot of people, when they're raised, they have the ambition taken out of them. When I say ambition, ambition to it, to be- useful ambition. When you're doing it for the good of other people, it's wonderful.
Randi: I thought it might help to have some commentary from a couple of people who've known me the longest.
Grandpa Ed: People have told you you're too- or you care too much. You don't let that bother you to please your peers. You continue to be ambitious, which is great.
Randi: Actually, on that last note… Growing up as a sensitive and fairly principled individual, I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't more than a little frustrating feeling like some of my most dominant characteristics were seen as epic flaws. I definitely have not always been so confident. When people tell you, “you care too much,” sometimes you start to believe it. In a way, I'm just going to say it, it's, it's gaslighting.
So, there was probably more than a decade where I was convinced that I needed to turn off my caring, or at least turn it down multiple notches to fit in. Fitting in seemed less painful. But folks, I'll tell you, trying to be someone you're not to be more like the people you're around is much more painful than finding the people that accept and treasure you for who you are, who see that your value comes from you merely existing as you.
Grandpa Ed: Here's- here's an interesting thing that happened when you were probably nine years old, eight or nine years old. Your family had come down to our condo in Palm desert for Christmas and I had left to go pick somebody up at the airport. I'm not sure who it was or whatever, but while I was gone, there was a car accident right outside from the condo, down on the corner, where a car caught fire and the driver of the car ended up being burned up inside it.
Yeah, you didn't know who the person was, but you were so upset that that person was in there and died in the car. You were really freaked out that that happened to him. I remember that, that you were- where most people were looking at that and go, “oh, that was terrible,” you were crying. You were very upset that that happened to that guy. I found that an interesting reaction from you.
Grandma Sheila: Unusual for somebody your age. Then it was so, it was so strong. The reaction was so strong.
Grandpa Ed: Other people would think, “well, I didn't know him, or glad it wasn't me or somebody I knew,” and not think that much about it. But you were devastated by the fact that somebody you didn't know died in that car accident.
Randi: Yeah so, I guess I've been this way a long time. And that kind of response, like in the story, my grandpa just told, it doesn't just stop with humans. It's always kind of a shocker for anyone I'm dating, um, when we encounter a roadkill together for the first time. Yeah. It makes me real sad. Every time. And it wasn't until much later in life that I realized empathy is actually a super power. It is. And it wasn't until recently that I'd heard that acknowledged or validated by others that all.
Glennon Doyle has said, “I'm the Canary in the mine. My sensitivity could save us all.” If that, along with things like Nap Ministry, for example, aren't validating for a sensitive soul, I don't know what is.
The more I've grounded in who I am and find other purpose-driven folks, the more I see that they have - we have - been out there all along.
Grandpa Ed: Over a year ago now, we sat down after dinner and we watched the movie Knock Down the Door-
Randi: Quick pause- He means Knock Down the House on Netflix.
Grandpa Ed: -which was about all the, uh, women that got elected to Congress in 2018. And it mostly focused on AOC. And what I was thinking when it was over is that I think you and her would be good friends, or really good friends, because you're both intelligent, you have ambition, you say what you think, and you care about other people.
Randi: Well, I couldn't agree more in that I think AOC and I would get along pretty well. And I love that that's the first thing my grandparents thought of when we watched that film.
As these people who care a lot about a lot of things have started to surface more, I thought more and more about how more and more people need to surface more about this. Right? I mean, that's how the world changes.
So, yeah, I doubled down and I decided to start this podcast, which is dedicated to elevating the voices and telling those stories. Telling the stories of those purpose drivers, those social entrepreneurs, the people changing the world, people who want to change the world, people who even think about other people.
And all of those who reject the status quo and the fitting in, and just looking out for number, one in favor of that sensitivity, that advocating for and creating things to better the lives of more than themselves, for as- as many as they can. Why not be one of those people that leads by example?
This podcast is a way for actively seeking out others who care a lot. Others who give a fuck, even when it feels like no one else does. And creating a space that sees strength in empathy and understands that that strength holds the power to change the world. Caring is fucking cool. And I'm super excited to soak knowledge up like a sponge from the guests on this show.
Speaking of… the guests on this show are probably largely unsuspecting inspirations that come across my path, or yours. Send me are people who give a fuck, please, please do. We'll hear from people that I, or others, have noticed living in ways that leave a positive, rippling impact around them, just from doing what they do and being who they are.
They are the folks who are living out their purpose to effect positive change bigger than themselves, caring for the world and others at the core of their ambitions. They're ambitious folks, but it's like, it's like my grandpa said, right? Their ambition is channeled for the greater good. So, there's no exact science on how guests end up on this show. It's- it's more like an intuitive clicking of souls that care loudly enough through the energy that they put out in the world. Let's elevate those voices. Let's elevate those causes. Let's elevate empathy.
I'm a believer that the more of an effort each of us makes to understand others, the better we will be at meeting, not only in the middle, but right where each other are. The more I hear the stories of people positively impacting their worlds, the more inspired I am to do the same. So, I'm hoping that, you know, with that ripple effect, that- that the rest of you are as well.
I think the further we get from societies that contribute to the collective and adopt attitudes of only looking at ourselves or “our own,” the more divided and disconnected we become. As humans, even introverts, we need that healthy connection. We’re a social species. Now, we don't necessarily need to give full-throttled fucks about everything, spreading ourselves so thin that we're not even effective. That's not what this is about. But perhaps we can zero in and focus on actively caring about a few causes or issues, initiatives, or a community that we feel really connected to, or that means something to us. If each of us did that, our collective caring would be further reaching than anything we could possibly do individually anyway, right?
The analogy that comes to mind for me is like working collaboratively as a part of a team at, at work, at your job. Imagine a project where each team member has their own focus, job, or expertise, and when each person gives a solid effort and brings their unique zone of genius to their part, the whole is bound to be greater and bound to be more successful than each individual part and, and even the sum of its parts. There's sort of this compounding effect that happens. And I think we can use that for good.
So, going back to why we need more people who give a fuck. The more of us that care enough to positively and actively impact our own parts of the world, the closer we are to a world that collectively cares and takes care of its people, animals, and planet. We're all we have.
So, with that, we find ourselves here with the “You Care Too Much” podcast. And if you're into it, subscribe. I'd love to, to have you every week. And if you like what you hear, give the podcast a five-star rating to let other folks know, so they can join us.
All right. Thanks for listening to episode one. It's been fun and I'm going to encourage you to keep giving a fuck, keep being you, and remember, there is no such thing as caring too much. Nope. Doesn't exist. We need you.
Grandpa Ed: So, when do we get paid? [grandparents laughing]